Times like these

We had one of them last night, one of those moments I wish I could just reach out and cup my hands around, gently catching it up like a firefly, then pour it in to a glass bottle so I could keep it near, see those images and relive those feelings even when I’m old and dusty.

It was a simple, ordinary moment. Chris and Cailan had been to library storytime on Tuesday morning, and after the story the librarian gave each of the kids a magic wand. Well, it’s really a flimsy flashlight with a multi-colored lens and plastic fiber optics sticking up at the top, so that the fibers light up in different colors. The construction is such poor quality that at first it didn’t even work, but after Chris took it all apart and put it back together, bending a few pieces so they would actually make contact, it does now light up. As Cailan says, “Daddy is very clever. He made the light come on.” In a bright room, it looks like a cheap plastic trinket, but when you turn the lights off, the magic happens. It turns into Cailan’s “swooshy wand”.


Last night we were all in Cailan’s room, lights off, blinds closed, with the swooshy wand turned on. First Chris held it, sweeping and swirling it through the air, its tiny points of light leaving a glimmering trace of its path. Cailan watched it, eyes and mouth wide open, laughing quietly, with his hands pressed together in a perpetual clap, or maybe in Namaste, spinning with his head thrown back to watch the lights, his whole body an expression of delight. Then Cailan took the wand and made circles and squiggles while he sat warm and cuddly in my lap.


I want to hold this moment, to keep this feeling of us together, the closeness and the happiness and the sparkling lights dancing around us.